Player page

Michael Absalom

Goalie stats

Team	Season	GP	W	L	T	SO	SA	SV	GA	GAA	SVP
Total	-	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	nan	-

Floor player stats

Team	Season	GP	G	A1	P	UAG	PPG	PIM	PEN
Rough Riders	ROLLER \| D1 \| Summer 2024	10	16	12	28	7	2.80	0	0
Rough Riders	ROLLER \| D1 \| Fall 2024	13	33	12	45	6	3.46	0	0
Rough Riders	ROLLER \| D1 \| Spring 2025	8	18	7	25	4	3.13	2	1
Total	-	31	67	31	98	17	3.13	2	1

DCHL Leagues

4 days ago

This year was the 20th anniversary of the North American Championships, run by Cool Hockey Events. Originally started by Jamie Cook (who you will remember as a The All Blacks player) it has grown over the years to cover three weekends with 113 teams coming to play in the different divisions.This year, we want to specially recognize the First Ladies C team (Finalists), COED C Champions (Backstrom Boys) and DC Corruption (Novice Champions). Everyone played great! If you would like to be involved in the travel team programs, please message our facebook page here or reach out to Kim Burgess or Ben Berger! ... See MoreSee Less

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DCHL Leagues

6 days ago

Sub Post for Tomorrow, lots of D1 spots available so if you want to give it a try put your name down!12pm (Rec): 1 Female1 pm (D3): 1 Female3 pm (D2): 1 Female, 2 Males5 pm (D1): 1 Goalie, 5 Males6 pm (D1): 6 Males, 1 Female ... See MoreSee Less

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DCHL Leagues

7 days ago

The Clapper Claps Back!March 30We are close to the end of the season and cream rises to the top. The playoff matchups are shaping up and some players are heating up like wildfires in high winds—spreading fast, burning hot, and impossible to contain.RECPUCK DRAGONS V. CRAZY 8SFinal 4-0The Puck Dragons continued their dominance and drove the 8’s crazy with their relentless scoring. Stefan Nordsiek, Tim Wilson, Slappy McSlapperson Halloran and Jim (the Dealer) Lindsey each scored a goal apiece. Sal Corasaniti contributed by hooking the hell out of one of the Puck Dragons. Good game Sal! Despite a relatively quiet game from Lex “AJ the Locomotive” Jones, the Puck Dragons remain undefeated, which irritates me to no end. I am very impressed with Thomas Richardson’s second shutout of the season as the Dragons’ goalie. Thomas was not done and ultimately had one of the best DCHL days ever. More on that later.COUNT PUCKULA V. DCHLADIESFinal 3-1Arik (the Gnat) Katz was a pestier than a swarm of mosquitos—relentless, annoying, and impossible to ignore. His speed made Alberto look like he should have just stayed on the bench. The star of the game belongs to Puckula’s goalie, David Altschuler. He stopped more shots than a bullet proof vest. At one point he looked like Greg Louganis before his infamous head butt dive. The Ladies played extremely well but missed several opportunities to bury exceptional passes into the net. With one more game to play, the Ladies expect to hand the Puck Dragons their first loss on Sunday.D3BIG DEKE ENERGY vs. SLASHING PUMPKINS3-4Midnight came early for the Energy, as the Pumpkins won their second game of the season. Both teams played incredible hockey, but Kieran McQulkin’s second goal proved to be the game winner. Jimmy Pruit was set up by John Bereza for an impressive Jimmy John goal against Alberto Salvado. In the goalie’s defense, the ball took a miraculous bounce off the netting and landed in front of Jimmy Pruitt who buried the breakaway. David Altschuler made incredible saves as the Pumpkins’ substitute goalie despite letting Kevin Foster’s blistering slapshot from the center line blow by him. The Pumpkins are heating up just in time for the playoffs.SHARKS v. STICK-PHIL-AFinal 5-1The Sharks ate up Stick-Phil-A like plankton in the Atlantic Ocean. The Sticks suffered their second loss after Shai Kornblau’s boasted how dominant they were a few weeks ago. Sean Strumpf scored the only goal for the Sticks in the first, but the Shark’s Thomas Richardson netted three of their next four goals. The MVP of the entire day belongs to Mr. Richardson. I do not recall another time a player ended a day with a hat-trick and shutout.GERI-HAT-TRICKS v. GWENDOLYN BLUE KNIGHTSFinal 3-2The Knights scored two goals in the first period, but the Hat-Tricks got it together. Ian (Ruby) Rubinson, Dustin (the Body) Hui and Jeremy (Salty) Morton provided just enough offense to earn them their third victory of the season. Alex Jones, Patrick Coghlan and Andra (Meow) Whitt played fantastic hockey, but their efforts were just not enough.D2I.P.A. v. GWENDOLYN BLUE DRAGONSFinal 2-2We had a James Farace sighting! This was his first game back from Lasik surgery and he showed the world what he can do when he can see. He and Sumit Dulani contributed to I.P.A’s only two goals. The Dragons relied on Ian (Ruby) Rubinson and Brian (the Family Guy) Griffin to tie the game at 2-2. Jajean (Thorny) Rose and David (the Wall) Schriner played their hearts out guarding the net in this tie.FLAMINGOALS v. UNTOUCHABLESFinal 2-3As a long time Redskins/Commanders fan, nothing irks me more than a team enjoying too much success. The Untouchables extinguished the Flamingoals undefeated season. Joe (the Stadium) Shea and the Family Guy were too much for the Flamingoals. Ezra (Better than Ben) Berger and Sumit Dulani were bright spots in an otherwise dim day for the Flamingoals.THE ALL BLACKS v. STINGRAYSFinal 0-5The All Blacks were stung bad. Eric (Chucky) Linberg, despite two penalties, scored three times for the Rays while Jajean (Thorny) Rose wilted any hopes for the All Blacks to make a comeback. I still have confidence in the All Blacks’ ability to make a deep run in the playoffs. Just call it a hunch.D1BIG STICK DIPLOMACY v. OSHIE’S 11Final 0-1Thorny Rose scored the only goal in the best game of the day. Ben (Less than Ezra) Berger had a very good game for Diplomacy, but his team could not get one past Maxie Weisz who earned the first shut out of the season.BIG STICK DIPLOMACY v. FUNKMATERS REDUXFinal 4-2Ben (less than Ezra) sought and got his revenge against Maxie Weisz. Ben allowed only two goals, but James (20/20) Farace’s offensive display was unstoppable. 20/20 scored four times! Sam (Yosemite) Brinker set up James on three of those goals. Michael Thomas and Jamie Brennan did the best they could to combat 20/20’s dominance, but there was only so much they could do 20/20’s perfect vision.FUNKMASTERS REDUX v. OSHIE’S 11Final 7-5In the highest scoring game of the day, Funk walked away with a 7-5 victory against the 11. This was also the third game in a row with Less than Ezra and Maxie Weisz minding the nets. Their exhaustion may have contributed to the number of goals scored; however Maxie mustered enough energy to save a few more shots. Oshie’s 11 had two players with multiple goals, Thorny Rose and Kevin Lee, but Funk’s Keith (The Senator) Ingram’s hat-trick blew Less than Ezra away. High energy game, well done. ... See MoreSee Less

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DCHL Leagues

2 weeks ago

Sub Post for Tomorrow, post here if you would like to jump in on a game!12 pm (D3): 1 Goalie, 1 Female, 2 Males1 pm (D3): 1 Female3 pm (D2): 3 Males4 pm (D2): 2 Males5 pm (D2): 1 Male5 pm (D1): 3 Males6 pm (D1): 5 Males6 pm (D1): 4 Males ... See MoreSee Less

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DCHL Leagues

2 weeks ago

High Stick Harry here with last Sunday’s recap.It was a light schedule this week, with only six games played. However, the games were tighter than Alberto’s skinny jeans after last year’s Thanksgiving dinner. It’s late in the season, and every game has playoff implications. The pressure in the arena was heavier than Alberto trying to explain to his teammates why he blew that 3-goal lead two weeks ago.REC:PUCK DRAGONS vs. COUNT PUCKULAFinal 4-3In the sole rec game, the Puck Dragons and Count Puckula put on a show! Tim Wilson, of the Dragons, opened the scoring with an absolute blast from the blueline. Dustin “the Body” Hui tied the game in the second with Katie Bay’s helpful assist. Unfortunately, Puckula was unable to take the lead despite goals from John Chick and the young Arik Katz. The Dragons relied on Derek Slappy McSlapperson O’Halloran, Alison Rapp and Jim Lindsey to secure the win, leaving the Pucking Dragons still undefeated. So annoying. The MVP belongs to Alison Rapp, who was set up perfectly by Nick Poczynek. Alison’s positioning was spot on!D3:THE SLASHING PUMPKINS VS. GERI-HAT-TRICKSFinal 2-2The Pumpkins ended their two-game losing streak and tied the always dangerous Hat-Tricks. With players like Jeremy Morton and Chris Brunetti, the Hat-Tricks are always a threat. Jeremy scored on the very first shot of the game. A typical start for Alberto Salvado who was minding the net as a substitute. Chris Brunetti sniped a goal after an impressive passing display by Jeremy and Seth Kumpf. The Pumpkins’ Pete Hackeman dazzled the fans with a superb goal assisted by Stephanie Daniels. Despite Justin Tonczycyn’s superb defense and intimidating grunts after his slapshots, Haley Miller was able to tie the game on a beautiful breakaway goal. Great game with a lot of action in the scoreless third.BIG DEKE ENERGY vs. SHARKSFinal 2-1Despite committing five penalties, Big Deke Energy walked away with a win. The speedy Wale Afolabi scored a beautiful goal in the first, giving Energy a one goal lead until late in the second period. Lex “the Lumberjack” Jones scored what some say was a cheap goal since Alberto Salvado was out of position. The game remained tied until Kyle “the Clutch” Shulman netted the game winner in the third. For the first time this year, the Sharks lost to Big Deke. Christopher Vasilas was devastated since Alberto somehow survived two sure fire shots destined for the back of the net. Energy’s defense gets the collective MVP for this one.D2:GWENDOLYN BLUE DRAGONS VS. STINGRAYSFinal 4-4By the end of the first period, the Dragons held a 3 goal lead. Jonathan Jasmin-Benoit, Joshua (the Argentine Assassin) Miller, and Nick Wirdzek were on point scoring a goal apiece. The Stingrays battled back with two early second period goals by Nantel Suzuki and Siman Kanter. Later, in what the Academy is calling the best performance of the year, Lew Fontek flopped from ten feet away from Hunter Haddad. The ref called a penalty, leading to a momentum swinging goal by Eric Lindberg. The Dragon’s Matt Kelly score gave them the lead in what appeared to be the game winning goal until Lew Fontek’s late game goal to tie it up. For the first time in DCHL history the MVP and the Oscar goes to one player, Lew Fontek!I.P.A VS. FLAMINGOALSFinal 3-4Despite Jame Farace’s inability to make the game due to celebrating his cousin’s child’s first birthday the night before, the Flamingoals remained undefeated. Simon Kanter’s third goal of the game gave the Flamingoals a lead they would not lose. I.P.A. played extremely well behind Nick Wirdzek and Kevin Foster’s offense but Ben Burger was luckier than a squirrel with a jetpack in a traffic jam, allowing only three goals to get by him. Well played. Simon Kanter is the obvious MVP.THE ALL BLACKS VS. UNTOUCHABLESFinal 4-6In the highest scoring game of the day, the All Blacks gave the Untouchables a run for their money. Jason Laliberte’s two goals were not enough to outlast the Untouchables’ explosive offense. Steve Pineau’s two assists and hat-trick were simply too much to handle, he was hotter than a goal lamp at a triple-overtime playoff game. Once again, the All Blacks did not play to their potential, and one must wonder when their luck will change. You can never count them out. I can easily see them as the Cinderella playoff team with Ben Purse leading the defense to low-scoring victories. ... See MoreSee Less

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DCHL Leagues was live.

3 weeks ago

DHCL D2 - Untouchables vs The All Blacks - 3/23/25 ... See MoreSee Less

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DCHL Leagues

3 weeks ago

Sub post for tomorrow: But first - We have 2 First Ladies teams representing us in the women's division at the North American's Ball Hockey Championship. Our "B" Division Team is sitting solidly in 3rd place (out of 11 teams!) after the round robin. Our Womens "C" division team plays at 3:30 pm and the combined DC DMV's plays at 4:20 pm. You can check out their game streams at: www.youtube.com/@CoolHockeyEvents1, and on their FB feed: www.youtube.com/@CoolHockeyEvents1 11 AM (D3): 1 Goalie1 pm (D2): 2 Females 2 Males2 pm (D2): 1 Female, 5 Males3 pm (D2): 2 Goalies, 1 Female, 3 Males4 pm (D1): 5 Females, 6 Males5 pm (D1): 5 Females, 6 Males ... See MoreSee Less

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DCHL Leagues

3 weeks ago

Weekly recap (Last Call for Wednesday Spring Season Signups!(form.jotform.com/250706239092153):On Wednesday evening we had two Championship games. Frozen Chozen won the Rec Division, led by Lew as captain and backstopped by championship MVP Mike Zanfardino in a tight 2-1 game.It was followed up by one of the best championship games in recent memory. A 4-3 win by Puck Mafia over Bad Batch. Puck Mafia took the lead, and then held on for the win. Rich Chin got MVP honors based off some outstanding defense and two solid assists.And of course, here is our Sunday weekly recap by none other than Patty "Power Play" McGoalcall.Due to unforeseen circumstances, I was unable to witness any of the games played on March 16, 2025. Rather than point out how well each team played, I dedicate this post to the greatness that is Puckstradamus. Like a skilled chef seasoning a dish perfectly by considering ingredients, cooking methods, and personal taste preferences, Puckstradamus analyzed team performances, game conditions, and betting trends to set over/under totals that were neither too high nor too low. REC:CRAZY 8’S V. COUNT PUCKULAO/U 7.5 goals. FINAL 4-4 The Crazy 8’s sit at the bottom of the division with only one win. Count Puckula, on the other hand, has the same number of wins but somehow is second in the division. How can this be? Well, Puckula is hard to beat. They have only lost one game and six ties earning them 8 points this season. DCHLADIES V. PUCK DRAGONSOver/Under 5.5. FINAL 4-2. The Ladies scored first but the Puck Dragons proved too strong and handed them their fourth loss. It is great to see that Cathy Richardson scored a goal for the Dragons. She and her relentless hustle paid off with her first goal of the season. D3:SLASHING PUMPKINS V. GWENDOLYN BLUE KNIGHTSO/U 6.5. FINAL 8-1. Puckstradamus may have been a bit off, but he could not have predicted Patrick Coghlan’s four goal performance. I think the Pumpkins need to resort to Slashing or change their name to the Slashed Pumpkins if they don’t start playing better. BIG DEKE ENERGY V. STICK-PHIL-AO/U 3.5. FINAL 4-2. Puckstradamus doesn’t really care about the over/under on this game. He/she is just delighted that the Energy beat the Sticks behind Jerry Crute’s two goals. This was Stick-Phil-A’s first loss? Ha Ha. The best part, Alberto Salvado is listed as the winning goalie. He wasn’t even there, but he will take it! SHARKS V. GERI-HAT-TRICKSO/U 8.5. FINAL 2-2This was a complete mistake for Puckstradamus. It was a huge day for the Hat-Trick’s Brunetti couple. Chris had two assists, including one which Amy hammered into the back of the net. Lex (the Luther) Jones had a big game himself with one goal and an assist. D2:THE ALL-BLACKS V. GWENDOLYN BLUE DRAGONSO/U 5.5. FINAL 2-3According to the box score, the All-Blacks had five subs. Despite this, they kept the game close. Georgie Carter had the winning goal in the third period. STINGRAYS V. FLAMINGOALSO/U 7. FINAL 3-6The Flamingoals, Brian Bowen was hotter than a Zamboni engine after resurfacing the ice all night by netting a hat-trick in the second period. The Stingrays had no sting in them after that onslaught. UNTOUCHABLES V. I.P.AO/U 7.5. FINAL 4-4I.P.A’s Sam Brinker caught fire and scored the first two goals of the affair, leading his team to a 3-0 lead by the end of the second period. The game looked bleak for the Untouchables until Brian Griffin and Matt Kowalski woke up in the third scoring three unanswered goals. Each team scored again late in the third to end this game in a stalemate. D1:FUNKMASTERS V. UDDERLY RIDICULOUSO/U 15.5 (both games) FINALS 2-2, 4-3Chris Thorp scored a goal for the Ridiculous in each game of the doubleheader. The shock has left me speechless. I am disappointed with the Funk. This cannot happen again. Keith Ingram and Patrick Noyes did their best to stop the Ridiculous, but I have no doubt Thorp paid off the refs. OSHIE’S 11 V. BIG STICK DIPLOMACYO/U 9. FINAL 5-4Rachel Israel had an assist and an unassisted goal in a superb game against the Diplomacy, however, it was Sean Miller’s winning goal late in the third that made him the star of the game. ... See MoreSee Less

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DCHL Leagues

3 weeks ago

NBHL Team Reveal: Woodley Park PandasGeorgie Carter returns to the NBHL Women's DC division as captain, following up last season's Georgetown Gazelles with the Woodley Park Pandas. With a solid performance last season, she hopes to take the lessons learned and bring her team to the NBHL Championships.The offense will be built for speed. The Panda Express will feature Aidan Young, Hannah Wizbicki, Elisabeth Blotevogel, and Kayla Dunn hoping to run circles around opposing defenses. Of the eight 3+ goal scorers last season, Georgie ended up with four of them, including herself, superstar Lindsey Machak, breakout rookie Jenn Semeniuk, and defensive stalwart Kelly Jo Broadhurst. These finishers will be joined by playmakers Alyssa Stubs, Megan Noyes, and Christe Lafoon. We'll be seeing the return of Shauna Scarnato, formerly of the DC Daiquiris, looking to make a huge impact and the debut of Katie Bay and Devon Strachan. We'll be seeing Cara Burgess in goal once again for Georgie, looking for more highlight reel saves. The objective of the Pandas defense is black and white: gain possession and start the attack. Kelly Jo will be joined on defense by Sharon Ossi and Jessica Narod, hoping to take away scoring chances and create their own. Teal Hinga and Abbey Dufoe both found the back of the net last season, so opposing teams can't get sleepy on the Pandas defense.Will there be Pandamonium in the streets of Woodley Park celebrating a victory, or will the team end up Bamboozled by opposing teams? Can they pawsibly win in a division filled with such talent? Does Georgie Carter spend her weekends competing for championships or at the zoo looking for another team name? ... See MoreSee Less

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DCHL Leagues

3 weeks ago

NBHL Team Reveal: DC RoseguardMaddie Vale-Ghering is making her debut as NBHL captain for the DC Roseguard. A free agent acquisition last season for the DC Women's Champion DC Darts, she's ready to bring her own squad in an attempt to reach the summit once again. The Roseguard will be anchored on offense by Amy Breidenstein and Caitlin Chan, who both were in full bloom last year. Amy took the division by storm in her first season playing in DC, putting up nine points, which led the division in points per game for the Dulles Dingoes. Caitlin, just moving back to DC, was added to the Darts for the NBHL Championships where she netted a hat trick in their opening game. Despite playing on the Darts, she didn't have to kiss any frogs to get her princess; she just drafted Princess Clemente to score goals and make big plays. She also selected former Byng Blossom Tessa Mager, who had the Flower Power to send her team to the NBHL Championship in Season 2. The offense will also be filled with newcomers looking to make a splash this season, with Carolyn Herzog, Cathy Richardson, Nicole Chaung, Kerry Hirzel, and Monica Mumma all making their NBHL debuts.With a fair number of rookies up front, Maddie loaded up with experience on the defensive side of the ball. The roses will be guarded by goaltender Nicole Vaquerano, making her return to glorious return to net after several all-star seasons on defense. She'll have the help of a star studded group of defenders, anchored by Honey Kilburg and Jessica Kebea. Janaye Dzikewich will continue to impress as she'll be back on defense this season after a flex role for the Gazelles last season.Will the Roseguard be able to protect their house, or will they be trampled under foot? Will they be in full bloom, or end up wilting like Valentine's Day flowers in March? Can Maddie be a thorn in the side of her opponents, or will the other captains pierce the Vale? ... See MoreSee Less

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DC Hockey Leagues

Co-Ed Floor Hockey

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Michael Absalom

Goalie stats

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